Dental Dana 69

Dental Dana
Said, I might be infected,
Contagious, she said
And that’s why she’s protected,
By face shields, and such
Like the gloves and the mask,
She doesn’t want to catch anything
During the dental hygiene task.

Like, when she is cleaning
And scratching my gums,
I tell you, it’s too difficult
To imagine sugar plums,
Like I might do much later
When I’m healing at home,
After another blood-letting
At the Dental cleaning dome.

Ya, DD is smart
She plans out her day,
Those times for my appointment
Where everything is in play,
Including the flossing
The X-rays and rinse,
Every effort to prove to me
That I’m not her prince.



Dental Dana 68


Dental Dana
Threatens dissections,
When risky clients
Won’t follow directions.

Her Dentist is thinking
About testing robotics,
To keep some safe distance
When treating psychotics;
Those kind of people
That never pay attention,
It might be about time
To trial the new invention.

Dental visits
Will never be the same,
I’ll have to come up with
A variation on my game,
Because I couldn’t go on
With that kind of seclusion,
There is just nothing like
A Dental Dana infusion.

Dental Dana 67

Dental Dana
She’s incredible,
(And if I could say)
Looks kind of, edible,
But thoughts like that
Could get me killed,
Worse than that
Probably over-billed.

When I approach
The dental chair,
I clear my thoughts
And comb my hair,
Trying to hide
An underlying fear,
Of sharp pointed tools
Two inches from my ear.

Dental Dana
Knows me well,
Where previous visits
Raised an alarm bell,
And my frisky behavior
Got me in trouble,
Tossing me out of the office
On the double.


Dental Dana 66

Dental Dana
She’s on the attack,
I smirked at her
Behind her back
She spun around
And tried to slice,
A new groove in my tongue
For not being nice.

When I wiggled my ears
She pounded on my molar,
Some kind of new implant
While claiming it’s solar,
The latest cool thing
Down on cavity street,
Solar powered fillings
Can cook while you eat.

Yep, Dental Dana
Is cutting edge,
Before she starts working
I have to pledge,
That I will behave
Like I learned my lesson,
If not, she might call;
Smith & Wesson.


Dental Dana 64

Dental Dana
Is a sassy lass,
She always lets me know
I’m not of her class,
And when she meets me at the door
Of the hygiene room,
I always get nervous
And my heart goes, BOOM.

Well, I bit her finger
And chewed her thumb,
But she didn’t get mad
Until a patted her bum,
Which in this day and age
Constitutes assault,
So I offered her french-fries
And a chocolate malt.

It appears I never learn
From prior events,
Though I always apologize
With every new offense,
Thus, DD loses patience
At the drop of a hat,
Now my jaw is jammed open
With a big dead rat.

Once again I failed
Though my ardor is stronger,
But I suspect DD
Won’t see me any longer,
She has put the kibosh
On any future arrangement,
Yea, our relationship has reached
Terminal estrangement.

Dental Dana 63


Dental Dana’s
Gentle caress,
Can ameliorate
All kinds of duress,
That might occur
In the dental chair,
Like the time the grinder
Got caught in my hair.

At 50 thousand r-p-m
It ripped and tugged
From stern to stem,
While I cried
Like a howling beagle,
The end result?
I was bald as an eagle.

Dental Dana
Did acquiesce,
It was time to apply
Her gentle caress,
To soothe the soldier
Wounded in battle,
And I promised her
I wouldn’t tattle.

Dental Dana 30

Dental Dana
Yes, she’s the best,
Better trained
Than all the rest,
She’s got that
Mesial Lingual down,
And her enamel skills
Are way uptown.

She knows your Dentin
And your pulp,
And exactly how
To make you gulp,
After filling your mouth
With seventeen tools,
Then saying, “Yes, I’ll go out with you
“Oh, April Fools!

How clever and coquettish
That dental lassie,
No doubt about it
She’s really classy,
And she’s got the creds
To name her price,
Do I have the nerve
To ask her twice?